Surrogacy reflections and another new beginning...

People ask all the time what made me want to be a gestational carrier.  The truth?  I don't know!  I feel like it has always been something I wanted to do.  I can't pinpoint an exact time or event that impressed upon me YES!!! this is something that I want to do!  Obviously I heard about it somewhere from someone....  But it has always been something that has been a part of my heart- even before Chris and I had children.  After our first was born, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that I was glad my pregnancy had gone well- that meant that being a gestational carrier was an actual possibility.  I feel like there's not a lot of magic left in our world, and I love magic.  I think I love pregnancy and childbirth so much because it IS magic.  You put two tiny cells together, and by some unseen miracle they fuse to make a third, completely independent being.  Then that being grows from a microscopic cluster of cells to an entire infant human being- inside ME! Then, at the moment of birth, when one complete entity separates to become two independently living, breathing people???  Pure magic.  Being a gestational carrier allows me to be a part of that magic again and again.  Not to mention the part about helping a couple grow into a family....

It's been five years since our family embarked on our surrogacy journey. In the beginning, we were matched with a lovely couple from Germany who taught us how the beginning of the process works.  We learned how being matched is like having that really awkward blind date- with a lot more riding on the deal than whether or not we all liked the restaurant.  We learned that you fall in love really fast, and bond SO quickly around the idea of bringing new life into the world.  Then we learned about the heartbreak of being told (by a doctor) that I wasn't good enough after all to carry someone else's baby.  The loss of hope I had of ever fulfilling one of my life's dreams. 

About a year later, the rekindling of that hope, when I met a woman who owned a surrogacy agency in town.  Rekindling that hope after finding out that the doctor that screened me before was one of the strictest in the country- and three doctors and the IVF clinic here cleared me.  Then being matched with Jason. 

Our journey with Jason taught us how a pretty much perfect experience can go.  Meds and appointments, travel and a transfer.  A positive pregnancy test 7 days after, with an ultrasound showing one perfect heartbeat.  Not all roads are totally smooth, though, and we had a scary weekend with some bleeding- then a diagnosed subchorionic bleed.  The rest of the pregnancy was a dream, and before we knew it my water broke at 38 weeks and 4 days.  Baby M joined her family, and I knew this was something I had to do again.  It was incredible. 

Our journey with Seth and Johnny taught us how we only grow stronger through trials together.  Our match was perfect from the beginning, and I knew it was going to be smooth sailing the entire way through.  When our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 9 weeks, I was devastated.  These wonderful men had placed all their hopes and dreams for a child in MY hands (uterus), and I had failed.  That wasn't supposed to happen!  But we stuck with each other, talked often, and grew together.  Our second transfer was a success- with that one perfect heartbeat again.  Baby L was born after 39 weeks and 3 days, an uncomplicated pregnancy, and a difficult delivery.  Hours later, I remember thinking that as difficult as that delivery was, I would do it again in a heartbeat. 

Now, we have been matched with a fantastic couple from Australia!  Maybe this time, we will learn how a journey with twins will be....!!!  Even though we are pretty much surrogacy pros by now, it doesn't diminish the excitement we feel.  Chris and I love meeting our new prospective match, the getting to know each other part, and the excitement leading up to our transfer.  I'll be on pins and needles for the week after transfer, just praying that I can text that coveted picture of a pregnancy test with TWO pink lines to two new daddies-to-be.  That we can provide another uncomplicated pregnancy, a smooth delivery, and most importantly the realization of B & G's dream for a family. 

Here's to another new beginning!!!