And here we go!!!

Yesterday we had our first ultrasound!!!  It was weird not being able to share the results with B&G immediately, but there is a huge time difference between us.  They had lots of interesting and fantastic messages to wake up to, though.....

Want to see what we saw?   Here it is!!!

TWINS!!!! 

This will be a new adventure for us....  I'm pretty excited, and so is everyone else.  I'm really curious to see how this pregnancy progresses compared to a singleton pregnancy. 

It seems that I am REALLY pregnant

So, my day 8 and 10 betas were really good.  My 20 day beta draw was this week (it was actually a 21 day), and I was hoping for big numbers.  My 19 day beta with my last singleton pregnancy was just over 5,000.  I was pretty curious to see what it would be this time, given my higher day 8 and 10 numbers. 

On the FB page I share with  other surros in my agency, we post what our betas are.  Everyone's are different, and there isn't an official range of numbers for singletons, twins, etc- but it's fun to compare to see if we can get an idea of what is going on "in there".  It seems that most of the ladies that end up carrying multiples have betas in the ten thousands range- some are higher and some are lower, but that seems a pretty good indicator. 

My 20 day beta was 22,220.  That's right....  Twenty two thousand two hundred and twenty.  I'm now dying for our first ultrasound!!!
Carrying multiples is an adventure I haven't had yet, but I'm up for it!  Plus, how awesome would it be for B&G to have two babies in one pregnancy???  And yes, I know the risk of multiples.  But I almost think that my last pregnancy may have prepared me to carry twins.  Levi was just under 10 pounds, and there had to have been 2 gallons of fluid in there (really, it was flowing over the sides of the bed when my water broke).  If the math follows, I should be able to carry TWO babies to at least 5 pounds each without much difficulty.  Plus, if there ARE two babies in there, I am going to go to a doctor that has a ton of experience with both surrogates and surrogate twin pregnancies. 

I'm starting to feel pregnant.  I've been light-headed this time around more than the others.  Not all the time, or super bad but noticeable.  I'm also starting to feel nauseated during the day.  It's not debilitating, and I hope it doesn't get that way!  We'll see, though....  I would like to avoid taking meds for nausea.  I've never needed them in the past, and I'd like to not take them this time.  It will be interesting to see what I can and can't eat this time around.....

Until the ultrasound....

I want to say that my uterus is magical....

.... but I don't want to jinx things!

Being superstitious, I don't like to talk about good things too soon.  But I'm pretty excited that we are officially pregnant!!!

My little uterus has done it's job again, and we have positive betas!!!  We also had positive hpts, but I didn't want to post anything before it was "official".

So, here are the stats!!!

Beta #1, 8 days post 5 day transfer................................178
Beta #2, 10 days post 5 day transfer..............................375

We were looking for the second number to be at least double of the first, and there we are!
We'll have a third draw on/ around Day 20 just to confirm that my betas are rising, and after that is our first ultrasound!!!

I love seeing those lines get darker!!!

I'm feeling pretty normal still.  No nausea (yet), and that can take its sweet time getting here!  I've been STARVING the last few days, and though Chris assures me it's normal for me, I don't remember being this hungry with the others.  My skin is getting itchy, which is a weird pregnancy thing for me- but it should get better (for awhile) soon.  Getting some heartburn, but I've had that more and more in-between pregnancy, too, so I'm not too surprised about that. 

We're just SO excited for B&G!!!

The eternal question when waiting for Beta draws.....

....  do I take a home pregnancy test (hpt) or just wait for the blood draws???


I take a hpt, silly!!!  But the bigger question for some carriers is when to take that test.  I know some gals that have tested at 4 days post transfer, but that's pretty early to get a positive.  I usually make myself wait until about 7 days post transfer- and sometimes that coincides with a blood draw.  This time, our blood draws are going to be on Day 8 and Day 10.  I like having a positive home test (or a negative one, too...), so waiting for the blood results doesn't consume my entire being.  Tomorrow is Day 7 post transfer....

At this point, I'm still feeling pretty normal.  I have a close friend who has been a gestational carrier, too.  She checks on me almost daily, and 2 nights ago I was lamenting to her that I feel totally normal.  She reminded me that I said the exact same thing to her at the same point last time, and I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy.  I'm glad she reminded me, because I didn't remember!!!  I'm still having some occasional cramping- which has always been a good sign in the past, and I'm starting to get a little achy in a couple of other key areas.  I'm actually dying to see what my blood results are.  ;)

In other news, I've been off work for the last 12 days.  I took a little staycation to coincide with the transfer, and have enjoyed every moment of it.  Tonight, it's back to work and back to a more normal routine for me.  So, I'm going to have a lazy day and enjoy every last second until I have to head back to the hospital tonight. 

Just passing time

Day three of bedrest....

I finally moved down to the couch today!!!  Some people say that having three days of nothing to do but hang out in bed must be fantastic....  Well.  It is unless you HAVE to.

Our transfer on Monday went well.  Well, after our lawyer got all HER ducks in a row.  She seemed to think that she didn't have all the necessary paperwork in place.  She did- she just didn't know it.  Talk about a stressful beginning to the morning.  But, the clinic gave me my Valium in the middle of all that, so I didn't really care after awhile....  ;)  The Valium didn't make me quite as sleepy as it normally does- though Chris did point out that I was talking with my hands much more than usual.  B & G have some awesome looking embryos, and we transferred two of them in.  Fingers crossed that they both stick!!!

After the transfer, it was straight home and straight to bed.  I took a nap, watched some TV, and then watched more TV, then went to bed. 

Day two post transfer was pretty much the same.  It's not the easiest thing in the world to lay down for days at a time though!!!  I managed to get pretty creative with the pillows, and that helps.  Toward the end of the day, I started to get a little restless, and started to get a headache- I'm being really good and having zero caffeine.  And I quit cold turkey- ouch!!!  Chris made me a yummy dinner, and then it was time to sleep again.  Oh, and I had a couple pretty awesome (lazy) bed companions, too.  Our siberian huskies did their best to keep me company. 

And now, Day 3. 
The bed was killing my lower back and hips, so I moved to the couch today.  Lots of water to try and offset the lack of caffeine, but I still couldn't kick the headache.  Maybe tomorrow.  I've been feeling crampy on and off since Monday night, and that has been a good sign in the past.  I find myself NOT doing any of the things I said I was going to during my three days of "freedom"- also how that usually goes.  Like tonight...  I'm supposed to be catching up on a new show that I've wanted to watch.  Instead, I'm watching back and forth between The Terminator, and Aliens....  Good ol' 80s movies. 

As always, the waiting is the worst part.  I hate that there is nothing I can do to guarantee that those two little embies are going to stick and grow.  We indulged in all our pre-transfer superstitions, we've visualized, meditated, crossed fingers, toes, and eyeballs.  I'm talking my meds religiously and trying to stay busy- so the time won't drag before our blood draws.  But in the end, all we can do is wait...

Surrogacy reflections and another new beginning...

People ask all the time what made me want to be a gestational carrier.  The truth?  I don't know!  I feel like it has always been something I wanted to do.  I can't pinpoint an exact time or event that impressed upon me YES!!! this is something that I want to do!  Obviously I heard about it somewhere from someone....  But it has always been something that has been a part of my heart- even before Chris and I had children.  After our first was born, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that I was glad my pregnancy had gone well- that meant that being a gestational carrier was an actual possibility.  I feel like there's not a lot of magic left in our world, and I love magic.  I think I love pregnancy and childbirth so much because it IS magic.  You put two tiny cells together, and by some unseen miracle they fuse to make a third, completely independent being.  Then that being grows from a microscopic cluster of cells to an entire infant human being- inside ME! Then, at the moment of birth, when one complete entity separates to become two independently living, breathing people???  Pure magic.  Being a gestational carrier allows me to be a part of that magic again and again.  Not to mention the part about helping a couple grow into a family....

It's been five years since our family embarked on our surrogacy journey. In the beginning, we were matched with a lovely couple from Germany who taught us how the beginning of the process works.  We learned how being matched is like having that really awkward blind date- with a lot more riding on the deal than whether or not we all liked the restaurant.  We learned that you fall in love really fast, and bond SO quickly around the idea of bringing new life into the world.  Then we learned about the heartbreak of being told (by a doctor) that I wasn't good enough after all to carry someone else's baby.  The loss of hope I had of ever fulfilling one of my life's dreams. 

About a year later, the rekindling of that hope, when I met a woman who owned a surrogacy agency in town.  Rekindling that hope after finding out that the doctor that screened me before was one of the strictest in the country- and three doctors and the IVF clinic here cleared me.  Then being matched with Jason. 

Our journey with Jason taught us how a pretty much perfect experience can go.  Meds and appointments, travel and a transfer.  A positive pregnancy test 7 days after, with an ultrasound showing one perfect heartbeat.  Not all roads are totally smooth, though, and we had a scary weekend with some bleeding- then a diagnosed subchorionic bleed.  The rest of the pregnancy was a dream, and before we knew it my water broke at 38 weeks and 4 days.  Baby M joined her family, and I knew this was something I had to do again.  It was incredible. 

Our journey with Seth and Johnny taught us how we only grow stronger through trials together.  Our match was perfect from the beginning, and I knew it was going to be smooth sailing the entire way through.  When our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 9 weeks, I was devastated.  These wonderful men had placed all their hopes and dreams for a child in MY hands (uterus), and I had failed.  That wasn't supposed to happen!  But we stuck with each other, talked often, and grew together.  Our second transfer was a success- with that one perfect heartbeat again.  Baby L was born after 39 weeks and 3 days, an uncomplicated pregnancy, and a difficult delivery.  Hours later, I remember thinking that as difficult as that delivery was, I would do it again in a heartbeat. 

Now, we have been matched with a fantastic couple from Australia!  Maybe this time, we will learn how a journey with twins will be....!!!  Even though we are pretty much surrogacy pros by now, it doesn't diminish the excitement we feel.  Chris and I love meeting our new prospective match, the getting to know each other part, and the excitement leading up to our transfer.  I'll be on pins and needles for the week after transfer, just praying that I can text that coveted picture of a pregnancy test with TWO pink lines to two new daddies-to-be.  That we can provide another uncomplicated pregnancy, a smooth delivery, and most importantly the realization of B & G's dream for a family. 

Here's to another new beginning!!!