Mountainous Ridges

So this post is about a week late.  I had to get over my own frustration before I could sit down and write about the latest.

I had my water ultrasound last Tuesday morning.  You know, the last little chore thing that I had to do before I could get excited about that med calendar Natalie sent a couple weeks ago now.  I've been anxious about the embryo thaw for our next round, and the transfer itself- but I knew this would be a piece of cake.  It would be my third time around, and the first two had been textbook perfect. 

So this is what the inside of my uterus looks like "normally" between days 6-16 of my cycle:

The black oval in the middle is the water that they inject up into the uterus so they can see what the uterine wall looks like.  Pretty smooth in there, right?  (This isn't actually MY uterus, but it was the closest thing online that I could find to what mine looks like...).

So, imagine my surprise, and the doc's, when she injected the water this time, and we saw something that looked a little like this:

Again, not MY uterus, but the closest thing I could find.  Do you see the differences?  In the top picture, the internal walls are pretty smooth and uniform.  In this picture, the walls are kind of jagged and hilly.  Well, in the inside of MY uterus, those "hills" looked more like mountains. 

I *love* hearing the doc say "oh.  Well, that's not what we're looking for"....  Turns out all those hills and mountains in there were pieces of tissue- either left over from my last period/ the miscarriage or we waited too long to do the ultrasound, and my lining was building up again.  In other words, the lining was too thick for me to start my meds. 

Can you feel my heart sinking into my stomach as she looks at me and says, "well, I'm going to want you to have another period to see if this all comes out on its own.  Then we'll do another ultrasound just to be sure."  Which blows our chances of an early March transfer.  At our clinic, the middle of the month (March anyway) is reserved for fresh cycles and transfers, so this will push us back to April probably.

Sigh. 

Put on a smile. 

"Okay."