Still unclear

We had our follow up ultrasound on Friday morning.  We went in with fingers crossed, butterflies in our stomachs, hoping for the best.  Linda, our coordinator at the clinic, was the one who did the ultrasound.  I got up on that table, we looked at each other, and said "here we go....".

The fuzzy black screen resolved into that inside-the-uterus shot.  And there it was again,  the dark circle of amniotic fluid.  Linda moved the probe around and zoomed in a little more.  And there was the embryo.  It was bigger this time, not looking so much like a grain of rice.  I was pretty sure I could see a little flipper where the arm is supposed to grow, so that was good.  It even looked like the baby was moving a little!  Linda moved the probe around until we could get a good midline shot of the embryo.  And there is was...  a little flutter.  But there was something just a little off.  We both squinted at that screen and looked a little closer.  Cardiac movement for sure, but it was slower than it should have been.  She didn't give me a heartbeat count, and I didn't catch it, but I would guess under 100 beats a minute.  Too slow. 

I looked at Linda and asked, "What does this mean???  There's cardiac motion, but it's not fast enough.....".  She said "It's progress." 

Obviously, we were expecting to have a clearer answer.  The baby has developed a little over the course of the week, but not a full week's worth.  However, I did have two people measuring, and that can make a difference.  I was a week behind at the last ultrasound.  Linda said that she sees slower cardiac motion on some early ultrasounds right about the time the heart is developing.  So, the embryo could still be just lagging behind and it will catch up.  Or, the alternate- it could be struggling to survive and won't make it.  We just don't know yet. 

I go in for another ultrasound on Wednesday.  It never occurred to me that there could be this much uncertainty for this long.  We are all hoping for good news on Wednesday.  I think we are all also hoping for a clear answer...  Will the embryo make it or not?  The waiting and uncertainty has been very hard on us here, and I'm sure it has been difficult for Seth and Johnny, too.