My 2nd beta came back right where it should be. Remember I said that it had to double or more over the course of two to three days? Well, my numbers were perfect. 212 for the first, and 546 for the 2nd. Since everyone's numbers are different, there's no clue as to how many may be in there. We'll have to wait another couple of weeks for the heartbeat confirmation ultrasound to find out if one little embryo implanted, or if they both did.
A few people have asked how I feel. Everyone has asked if I'm excited.
Right now, I'm feeling good. I'm giving it a couple of weeks, though, before I expect to feel sick at all. It's all still a little surreal. You have a few pink lines and a page of lab results to tell you that there's a baby growing in there, but until you really start to feel it, it just doesn't seem quite real. Seeing the heartbeat always helps. And as monstrously annoying as the nausea is, at least it tells me that all is well. The real fun is when I start to grow out of my clothes, though! Okay, once you get past that, hmmmmm is she just getting plump? phase.
Of course I'm excited. It's interesting, though. It's a different kind of excited than I felt when I learned that I was pregnant with my own babies. I'm so happy for Jason, thrilled, really. And I'm looking forward to being pregnant again. The experience for me is just fascinating every time. But, instead of knowing that we're adding to our family, I know that we are helping add to someone else's family. Instead of looking forward to picking a name, planning a nursery, and holding my new baby in my arms, I'm looking forward to giving someone else those experiences. This pregnancy, it's my job to keep this new life happy, healthy, and safe until we can deliver him or her to Jason's arms.
People have asked me if it will be hard to give this baby up. My immediate answer is no. Because this isn't our baby. This child is not destined to be a part of our household; not a new brother or sister, not a new son or daughter for us. I'm sure I will love this baby, but not in the same way that I love my babies.
:)
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