Approaching 28 weeks

Approaching 28 weeks!!!

I love 28 weeks. Not that I feel super special wonderful at 28 weeks or anything like that.... It's the antepartum nurse in me coming out. 28 weeks is the first big "milestone" gestation for the NICU and pre-term moms. (Not that I've ever been a pre-term mom, but I'm aware that there is a first time for everything....) If a baby is born after 28 weeks' gestation, there is a marked decrease in the incidence of brain bleeds. Scary sounding, and scary. Although babies born early, even after 28 weeks', have difficulties of their own, I always breathe a tiny sigh of relief when that first milestone mark passes.

On to other thoughts!

So, one of my "usual" pregnancy discomforts is itching. I've been an itchy mess with all my pregnancies; mostly through the end of the first trimester to almost the third trimester. There have been several theories for my itching: increased blood volume, skin stretching, bile salts, soap allergies.... None of it really made sense to me. Then, my doctor and I were discussing my progesterone reaction incident earlier this pregnancy. He said, "Well, yeah, increased progesterone makes some people itch." Ding, ding, ding!!!! This rang true to me as the cause of all my itching- especially with how severely I reacted to the injectable progesterone.

The itching this pregnancy has been astronomical. I've made my ankles and feet bleed from scratching. I scratch in my sleep. Chris says he feels like he's sleeping with a grasshopper... Yes, I've tried things. Aveeeno soap, aveeno lotion, medicated aveeno lotion, benadryl, cortisone cream, oatmeal bath soaks.... My doc recommended Cetaphil lotion, but I really don't think it's a case of dry skin. I'm going to talk to him about it again at my appt next week. Although I think it's going to be one of those "so sorry, not much we can do about it" things.

Interestingly, and maybe this all goes hand in hand, but my skin has just been really super sensitive this time around- like a tactile issue. My clothes are uncomfortable against my skin, tags bother me, blah, blah, blah. I feel like a skin sensitive challenged toddler most days. Clothes and ways of wearing clothes that usually get me through a pregnancy have done absolutely nothing for me this time around. I've lamented to Chris several times that it's the dead of winter, and I HAVE to dress in layers. Why can't it just be summer so I can throw on a soft sundress.... or a mumu for that matter????

Lol. So. I'm getting creative. My latest endeavor is to turn a old pair of drawstring scrub pants for work into a pair of maternity scrub pants. Yes, with the large, uber ugly (absolutely fantastic) full belly panel. I found some soft, stretchy fabric at the fabric store ( I should not be allowed into the fabric store) that I think my belly will enjoy. This afternoon will have me getting friendly with a pair of scissors, some fabric, and my sewing machine.

Wish me luck.

Uh, the holidays are over now.... so....

Uh, the holidays are over now.... so....

Hmmmm..... I just looked at my 25 1/2 week pic (it's down toward the bottom). Talk about chipmunk cheeks! I'm hoping it was just the angle of the picture. I'm thinking my face is starting to look rather.... full.

Now I know weight gain during pregnancy is normal and healthy. I'm one of those crazy people who chooses to never know my weight. I don't look at the scale at the doctor's office, and I never jump on "just to see". What a horrible idea. I choose to go with how my clothes fit.

Well, I know my regular clothes sure aren't fitting me now!!!! So I can't really use that as an indication any more. I've always said one of my goals this pregnancy was to try and stay active- I never accomplished it with my own pregnancies. And so far, I haven't done very well this pregnancy either.

I was in pretty good physical condition before this pregnancy, visiting our local rec center 3-5 times a week. My love was Zumba. With all the craziness that happened the first trimester, I wasn't able to keep exercising the way I had envisioned. Then my rec membership ran out.... Drat. Did I renew the sucker???? Uh. No. And I miss my Zumba, I really do. I think about my long lost class at least 4 times a week. But I'm pretty sure my body would take a furious ass-kicking if I went back now!

However, it doesn't keep me from thinking it's a great idea. I dream of my little support belt strapped to my ever-expanding belly, and me hopping around class like a pro. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Pretty sure I'm going to be red faced and breathing like a steam engine.

Walking the track may be a better "get back into the game" activity.

My goal for the end of January is to get in and renew my membership. Then my next goal is to start going again. I miss exercising, so I'm pretty confident that I will work it back into my weekly routine. And my goal will not be to lose weight. My goal will be to remain active and feeling good about myself.

And if my face stops looking like I have chipmunk cheeks, so much the better. ;)

The "boring" inbetween

The "boring" in-between......

And thank goodness for it!!! After all the hullabaloo of the first trimester, I'm glad there's not much to report right now.

We had another appointment today, and Little Miss is doing great. Developing right along, and right where she should be. I had to do my glucose test today, a little early since I do have a history of gestational diabetes. Only with my first pregnancy, but I'm still keeping my fingers madly crossed that I pass this time, too....

I'm really feeling her move all over the place these days. She was head down at the doctor's today, which is great news. Hopefully she'll stay that way! Her little body is getting so big in there that I can feel her roll now in addition to her kicks and jabs. Sometimes it takes me by surprise, because I still sometimes think she is so small!!! She's decided that she likes to hang out on my right side and in my right hipbone area; so much so that my belly often looks lopsided. My OB even commented on it. I think it's funny that these little kiddos have their own personalities and preferences so early.

Little Miss also likes music. A lot. Jason sent us a playlist for her to listen to, and a story he read so she can get used to his voice as well. Pretty cool. She is pretty active in the car these days, too. I figure it's because I drive with the music fairly loud (when I'm by myself anyway). I love to sing in the car, but really have to drown out the sound of my own voice! She really rocks with Evanescence. I figure that means she either loves them or hates them. Hard to say. :)

Here's our 22 week picture, even though I'll be 24 weeks tomorrow.

Halfway there musings.....

Halfway there musings.......

I kinda can't believe we're at the halfway point in the pregnancy already. It really does feel like just yesterday that we were flying out to Jersey for the transfer. I try to remind myself every day to enjoy everything that I can about this pregnancy- even the heartburn! Because it's going to be over before I know it... I'm so fortunate to be carrying this little girl; but sometimes I have to remind myself that she's "mine" just for the duration of the pregnancy. Don't get me wrong- I'm going to be overjoyed to hand her over to her Daddy- I just hope it's after 38-40 weeks gestation.

I was reminded today that nothing is ever certain, and to enjoy every moment that I can. A good friend of mine who was also carrying a surro-baby delivered unexpectedly at 32 weeks. The baby and my friend are both healthy and doing fine, but her journey was cut short by 8 weeks. She was expecting to be pregnant for another 6-7 weeks at least. I never really thought of how having a pre-term delivery would impact my feelings about the pregnancy. We Carriers go into a pregnancy knowing that we will not be taking home a baby in the end. But I think we all expect to nurture whatever little person grows for the length of an entire pregnancy.

I'm around pre-term labor and deliveries all the time because of where I work. I'm used to helping moms when their pregnancies are cut short for whatever reason. I never really thought of it in terms of a surrogate pregnancy being cut short. Maybe some carriers wouldn't be bothered by it, but I think delivering significantly early would make me sad, too. For me, the very best part of pregnancy is the last half and I want to experience it in all of its glory (aches, pains, and all...) for as long as I can!

Me and Baby at 20 weeks'....

It's a......

It's a........

......GIRL!!!!

I keep thinking I've written this blog already. Only to remember that I keep meaning to write it, and that it's not actually done yet!

Life has been crazy the last week and a half or so. Jason came to visit, we had our "20 week" anatomy scan (at 19 weeks, 4 days), the kids were out of school for Thanksgiving, my parents were here for Thanksgiving, not to mention Thanksgiving itself. Then it was my birthday and a dance recital; and now back to life "as usual".

Other than finding out that I'm carrying a healthy, happy baby, the big question of the day was: What am I carrying????? As soon as the ultrasound tech popped the transducer on my belly, I had the answer to that question- the view was about as perfect as it gets. Jason, not being accustomed to looking at ultrasound screens however, didn't see it right away. Since nothing is ever 100% until delivery, the ultrasound tech said with 99% probability that I'm carrying a little girl.

And she IS healthy and happy. Right now she's sitting breech (please flip.....), so we weren't able to get perfect shots of her heart or her spine. I'll have another scan when we go back in 4 weeks, and hopefully she'll be in a better position. Being breech explains why I always feel so heavy in my pelvis, and (despite the posterior placenta this time) why I don't feel much movement outside of my pelvis. I'm not as nervous about this kiddo being breech as I could be, though. My daughter sat breech until 31 weeks. I'll be relieved when Baby does finally flip; or freaked out when we get to 34 weeks and she still hasn't......

Here are some pics of this gorgeous girl:

Week 18

Well, 18 weeks, here we are! The picture is a little (okay, a lot) grainy, but I don't have the best camera on my phone. I'm not sure why I didn't have Chris snap a pic... I'm thinking that he must not have been here??? Our schedule was a little off this week d/t the upcoming holiday.

Baby is moving a lot more this week. I'm finally feeling movement outside of my pelvis- I'm starting to feel pokes, jabs, and rolls right below my belly button. I've noticed Baby moving while I'm on the couch, in the car, and at work. Still not so much when I'm up and busy and moving around a lot myself, but that will come. And probably soon!!!

Next week is our big anatomy scan! Jason is going to come into town so he can be there to see his kiddo on-screen again. We're really looking forward to finding out if this is a little miss or a little mister in there.

I've upped my zantac dose to cover the heartburn this week, and am thinking that I will probably have to move on to something a little stronger soon. New this week is the recurrence of my sciatica. I've been feeling it on my left side, and luckily just a tiny bit. The sciatica I get has never been as awful as what I know some people have, but it's one of those familiar "friends" of pregnancy that has popped up for me again. On the plus side, I'm not having any problem sleeping, and my appetite has improved a lot. I'm trying to make "good" food choices for myself and the baby, and pretty much I do well. However, there are those moments when that chocolate chip muffin looks way better than the apple..... ;) My go to absolutely favorite "meal" right now is refried beans and rice from the Mexican place down the street. With tortilla chips, of course.

Dreams

I always have crazy dreams. And during pregnancy, the craziness seems to get worse. I have really vivid dreams, that are often off the wall and funny when I'm pregnant. This time has been no exception. However, I've also been having realistically scary dreams (like last night), and dreams that seem to be coming straight from my subconscious.

The first "pregnancy dream" I remember having this time was a dream about giving birth. I was there in the hospital, laboring away. Jason was there, and things were progressing along as expected. When out pops the cutest little gray fuzzy bunny..... Everyone was a little taken back, but Jason loved his bunny nonetheless.

I've had dreams about haunted houses that suck people into never-ending labyrinths. Last night I dreamed it was a piece of very large property with a haunted house/ nature walk. We were from that show Ghost Hunters (which I've never watched) exploring the veracity of the hauntedness of the place. We wound down into the bowels of the place, then opened a door that was hiding pure evil behind it. We promptly turned around and ran up and out of the place, but something followed us. We got the signature of the owner on all our forms so the show could be produced. Then drove away only to find that all roads led right back to the house. Needless to say, I was actually happy to hear the alarm go off this morning!!!

Going into a surrogate pregnancy, you know from the beginning that the baby is not yours and not going home with your family. It changes the nature of the pregnancy, and for my family makes it easier. We're all very comfortable knowing that this is Jason's baby and not ours, and that we are only going to physically see/hold/ be around him or her for a very short time. Lately, my subconscious has been telling me that the very short time we will have must be something that is important to me.

I've dreamed twice now that I gave birth to this little wonder, but was not allowed to see him/ her. The first dream took place in the hospital, right at the moment of birth. The baby was born, and immediately whisked away- completely out of my room. I kept asking to see the baby, or hold the baby even just for a minute. I was told by the nurse that the baby wasn't even on hospital property any more, having been taken to the hotel where Jason and his family were staying. The second dream was several days after the baby was born. We were at home waiting for the court date to sign our paperwork. Jason hadn't made it to town yet for some reason, but I wasn't allowed to have custody of the baby. It was a girl, and she was being cared for by my best friend. I hadn't been allowed to see the baby in the hospital, and kept calling trying to convince my friend to bring her over for a visit before our court date.

In neither of the dreams was keeping the baby an issue. I just wanted a chance to see him or her. I know logically that Jason will give our family plenty of time to say goodbye to this wonderful little person, and I can't imagine any realistic scenario where the baby would be taken immediately away where wouldn't get a chance to see him/ her later.

Aren't dreams weird? At least this time around, I haven't dreamed about giving birth to a loaf of bread. It will be interesting to see what happens next in my dreamworld....